I am sure, at some point, you have had someone tell you: “It is what it is.” Maybe it was when you were bringing a problem to their attention, or expressing frustration with the status quo.

This particular phrase invaded my vocabulary around the time I entered the corporate world.

At first, it seemed to be make sense. A problem was identified and no solution using current means of operation was able to correct it therefore, “It is what it is”. Shrug, hands up, “Oh, well, we tried.” And like a piano out of tune, business continued as usual.

While I don’t recall when it was first used, I do remember when hearing these words began to create a dissonance in my mind.

Back when I worked for an international company, I remember bringing troubling issues of those I supervised to light and after a brief discussion, was told “It is what it is.”  I found myself frustrated with the continuing mentality that:

a) policy cannot be changed,
b) it would take too much time and effort,
c) the current way was not that broken and
d) employee satisfaction was not paramount; they should be grateful to be employed.

My takeaway was that I wanted “It is what it is” to be eliminated from our vocabulary.  I believe this phrase is an easy out and a disservice to everyone who uses it. I ponder where society would be if those historical figures who are considered the great minds of the world had given up and said, “it is what it is”.

On a smaller scale, I wonder what we could accomplish in our lives if we collectively eliminated “It is what it is” and dug deeper to find solutions. What could be achieved if we gave ourselves permission to challenge the status quo?

Personally, I want to be a rebel. I want to color outside the lines with bright, vivid colors and throw away that box I had been thinking in.

What could you accomplish, Dear Reader, if “It is what it is” was no longer in your vocabulary?

I love “Aha!” moments.

You know what I’m talking about; those sudden strokes of “genius” that fill us with excitement and make us giddy to share our moment of glory with others. I also love moments where introspection and self-awareness meet personal evolution. Where we have discovered something so satisfying and revelatory it changes the course of our lives. We sit back, momentarily stunned and just say, “Aha!”

I have spent the greater part of my adult life as a single woman. Like most people, I have my strengths and weaknesses in cooking, baking, finances, world events, home improvements, etc. and didn’t have the time, passion or energy to fully pursue all interests.  In fact, I have found very few people who were completely self-sufficient.

It wasn’t until I met my second husband that everything seemed to click and I learned what compatibility really meant.

When I moved in with Frank, we went through what every other couple does. After the “Honeymoon phase,” we learned each other’s peccadillos and after a time, we had an “Aha!” moment.

We took two independent people, two incomes and two households and merged them into one. Somewhere along the way, we had come to recognize our strengths and weaknesses and developed what I call our Inner and Outer Circles.

I am the Inner Circle. I have the freedom to explore my passion for taking care of hearth and home. I’m the first line of defense when bombarded by day-to-day distractions. I take on miscellaneous errands, research tasks, bookkeeping, and various housekeeping tasks.

Frank, as you may have already guessed, is our Outer Circle.  He is able to feed his passion for staying current with regional developments, economics, and world events.  He interprets how those things are pertinent to our lives so we can adapt and prepare for the future.  He is Mr. Fix It, always stating his terrifying mantra of “How hard can it be?” as he tackles household repairs on his – excuse me, our – own. With Frank’s vision and drive, he is responsible for directing us towards success and maintaining security for our home.

By accidentally discovering this Inner and Outer Circle approach, we have been able to focus on using our strengths in a complementary manner.

Have you had the opportunity to create your own Inner and Outer Circles?  What do you call the division of labor in your relationship(s)?

I have an addiction. Well, several of them, truth be told. However, we all have addictions or guilty little pleasures. Coffee, pastries and chocolate of any form are among some my beloved addictions. Pursuing the book aisle is one of my everlasting favorites. Be it a physical or virtual bookstore, it matters not. I will spend countless hours in search of my next fix.

At best guestimate I would say I have read into the tens of thousands of books over the course of my life and have learned not all are created equal. Like the junkie I am, I discovered not every book published had the magic I was searching for. You know what it is I speak of. That high where the author had enraptured me and was able to take me away to the world they have created. Their paracosms.

Recently, I had ordered the first book of a popular trilogy from Amazon. The  consumer reviews were excellent, so much so there is a movie being made based upon the books. Curious to see what the fuss was all about, I dove right in, eager to feel the rush, the high. I felt the disappointment of the crash and could not finish the first book. A highly unusual occurrence leaving my addiction unfed and restless.

On the other end of the scale, I had come across an author, Sierra Dean. She so delighted me, capturing my imagination in the first paragraph. The effervescent excitement was so great, I had to reread it. Twice. I then was compelled to share my high with Frank, reading it aloud to him. From the first paragraph of the first book in the series, she had me hooked.

But, before there was Sierra Dean, Nora Roberts and Stephen King, I was introduced to one of the best storytellers of all time. When we were children, my brother, Dan, was given a set of Louis L’Amour books by our Grandpa Heinrich. I promptly borrowed them, (indefinitely, I believe) and that ignited my passion for the written word, my addiction was born.

Mr. L’Amour hooked me with his first book and I have greedily consumed nearly everything he had ever written. I wonder if I hadn’t felt the magic from Mr. L’Amour, would I still have a love of reading today? Would I have an appreciation for not just authors, but storytellers?

So, I have read a lot of books. And, if I am to be honest, I have a secret (perhaps not so secret now) dream of writing a couple myself–if only to exorcise stories I have locked inside my mind. But, more on that another time.

Are you, too, addicted to fiction?  Do you remember the first time you felt the magic of “that first hit”?  You can share your story with me; this is a safe place.

During the process of my personal evolution, I had begun an informal list of sayings or phrases I wanted to eliminate from my vocabulary. Though widely accepted and used by popular culture, I began to chafe at their negative connotation. So, “I’m too old for that!” has the dubious honor of joining “I’m having a bad day” and “It is what it is”.

I found there was a distinct correlation between my age and the frequency I used  that particular phrase. As children, we were told we could be doctors, lawyers, or anything else our heart desired. But, once we reached a certain age, we stopped reaching for the stars. We stopped trying to reinvent ourselves. We got too old to learn new tricks.

Early in our relationship, Frank responded to a comment I had made. I don’t recall what the conversation was about, only that I had said I was too old for something. In the wake of that conversation a whisper of a thought began to take root. Perhaps, just perhaps, age is only a number.

When did we stop believing we can do anything we set our minds to? When did our increasing age determine our hopes, goals and dreams? I am inspired by some famous people who didn’t let their age hinder their dreams. Julia Child didn’t begin cooking until she was nearly 40 years of age. Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t write Little House until she was in her 60s. And, did anyone know Ronald Reagan began work as a radio broadcaster before he was an actor? Of course he ultimately became the 40th President of the United States.

I decided to make some life changes. I began to take my health more seriously and cut a lot of foods out of my daily diet. I became more active and added such activities as hiking, walking around town and pounding out miles on the treadmill. Change was quite a challenge in the beginning and honestly, not a great deal of fun. But, I was determined not to let my chronological age deter me from living life as I dreamed.

At the beginning of the year, Frank and I started the process to attend an online university. For me, I had been wanting to complete my college education for over twenty years. Doubt and uncertainty that I had the capability to do so were among my biggest obstacles. Seriously, college is a young person’s journey. Isn’t it?

I’m proud to say that I’m now officially a student of Western Governors University. My most recent challenge has me quite excited and invigorated. And yes, nervous. The worry that I can actually achieve this goal (earning a BS in Business Management) is still there, but it is a mere shadow to my hope and enthusiasm. And, you know what? I find I still like learning new tricks.  

Who else has jumped in and decided that you were not going to let age determine what you can or cannot do? What stories of inspiration can you share?