I love “Aha!” moments.
You know what I’m talking about; those sudden strokes of “genius” that fill us with excitement and make us giddy to share our moment of glory with others. I also love moments where introspection and self-awareness meet personal evolution. Where we have discovered something so satisfying and revelatory it changes the course of our lives. We sit back, momentarily stunned and just say, “Aha!”
I have spent the greater part of my adult life as a single woman. Like most people, I have my strengths and weaknesses in cooking, baking, finances, world events, home improvements, etc. and didn’t have the time, passion or energy to fully pursue all interests. In fact, I have found very few people who were completely self-sufficient.
It wasn’t until I met my second husband that everything seemed to click and I learned what compatibility really meant.
When I moved in with Frank, we went through what every other couple does. After the “Honeymoon phase,” we learned each other’s peccadillos and after a time, we had an “Aha!” moment.
We took two independent people, two incomes and two households and merged them into one. Somewhere along the way, we had come to recognize our strengths and weaknesses and developed what I call our Inner and Outer Circles.
I am the Inner Circle. I have the freedom to explore my passion for taking care of hearth and home. I’m the first line of defense when bombarded by day-to-day distractions. I take on miscellaneous errands, research tasks, bookkeeping, and various housekeeping tasks.
Frank, as you may have already guessed, is our Outer Circle. He is able to feed his passion for staying current with regional developments, economics, and world events. He interprets how those things are pertinent to our lives so we can adapt and prepare for the future. He is Mr. Fix It, always stating his terrifying mantra of “How hard can it be?” as he tackles household repairs on his – excuse me, our – own. With Frank’s vision and drive, he is responsible for directing us towards success and maintaining security for our home.
By accidentally discovering this Inner and Outer Circle approach, we have been able to focus on using our strengths in a complementary manner.
Have you had the opportunity to create your own Inner and Outer Circles? What do you call the division of labor in your relationship(s)?